


Maybe tomorrow

by blacklilyqueen



Category: Star Wars: Ahsoka - E. K. Johnston, Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:55:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28556466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacklilyqueen/pseuds/blacklilyqueen
Summary: Rex and Ahsoka both worry about each other after the war and desperately hope for a sign to know that the other is still alive.
Relationships: Ahsoka Tano & Clone Troopers, CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	Maybe tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This work is based on this (https://luoiae.tumblr.com/post/630579685462573056/rexsoka-week-hope-its-a-little-heavy) comic by @luoiae on tumblr.

_"Any news from Ahsoka, Wolffe?" "No."_

Part of him had expected that answer, yet he hoped for some news from her. It didn't have to be much. Just a small token to let him know she was okay, that she was safe, that she was alive.

Rex hadn't heard from her since their escape a few months ago. At first, he thought she was just trying to maintain a low profile. Messages could be intercepted and right now it was important that he, and especially she, stayed out of sight. And even though that thought was somewhat comforting, he always wondered if something bad had happened to her.

He wished he could have contacted her, but for their safety, they both thought it would be the best if he didn't know her exact location. His days were filled with as many chores as possible, hoping it might distract him from his worries. But every night, when he closed his eyes and nothing else remained to occupy him, he would see her in front of him. Sometimes everything was peaceful. She just stood there looking at him with that beautiful smile. Her eyes shone with joy and it was as if nothing could destroy that moment.

However, there were other nights. Nights when he woke up from sleep with his eyes wide open and his heart racing. His mind plagued by images of Ahsoka, covered in blood and in captivity. He saw the Emperor’s Inquisitors torturing her. Heard her screams. Had to watch her die slowly but surely. And there was nothing he could do about it.

He had such a dream that night and like every time he had hoped for a message from her to make sure she was alright. Almost every day he asked Wolffe if he had heard from her and day after day he was disappointed. He left the former clone commander behind and returned to his daily distractions.

Maybe tomorrow he would hear from her.

_"Hey, Rex. I hope you're all safe."_

Although there were a thousand things she wanted to say to him and tell him about, that was all she said. For months she had tried to contact him over and over again, but he never answered any of her transmissions. So it happened that she didn't produce more than that one sentence, because at that moment all the other things didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that he was safe.

More and more often she caught herself worrying about him. What if the Empire found out he was alive? What if they knew he had helped her escape? It would be his death sentence.

But maybe he just cared about her and was afraid to answer her. Over the past few months, she had increasingly tried to convinced herself that it must be because of that. Although this thought gave her a little comfort, she still wanted certainty.

Maybe he would answer tomorrow.

_"She still hasn't...?" "No."_

"I see," the words hardly seemed to leave his mouth. He stood with his back to Wolffe and now turned his head away again. His muscles tensed a little at Wolffe's answer and his fingernails dug into his palm even though he didn't realize it. He was about to leave when Wolffe said something else:

"She's not dead. If she were, we'd know it. The Empire tends to make a big spectacle out of the death of a Jedi."

Rex knew he was right. He also knew Wolffe only meant well, yet it was anything but reassuring. The thought of Ahsoka's death plagued him enough as it was, now saying it out loud didn't make it any better. Three years was an extremely long time when you don’t know if the other person is still alive or not. He fervently hoped so, but his doubts grew with each passing day.

He turned his head once again in his brother's direction and gave him a small nod. He didn’t have enough strength for more. He left the room and went to the small cabin that the three clones shared for sleeping. Since Gregor was exploring, Rex had a moment of peace to himself. The door closed and so did Rex's eyes. He took one deep breath and as he exhaled, he slammed his hand, still clenched into a fist, against the wall next to him with all his strength.

He ignored the pain in his hand as his knees gave way and he slowly went down. His back was now leaning against the wall he had just punched. He angled his legs, propped his elbows on his thighs and buried his face in his hands. His chest rose and fell faster and faster as his heart seemed to contract further and further. When he lifted his face, he ran his right hand over his short hair, trying to get his breathing back to normal.

She's not dead. She is not dead. She is _not_ dead.

Over and over again he repeated the words in his head. As his whole body focused on that thought, he slowly calmed down. His breathing was back to normal, the pain in his chest lessened, and his muscles began to relax.

She’d contact him tomorrow.

Yes, he was sure she would. Wolffe was right. If she were dead, he would know. He shouldn't worry. Soon he would hear her voice again, assuring him that she was alive. He tried to hold on to that thought, but part of his mind wouldn't give him that peace, and so a second thought mixed in.

There are things much worse than death.

No. She was fine. She would call tomorrow. She had to call tomorrow. Because he didn't know what to do if she wouldn’t.

_"It's been a while. I hope you're okay."_

Even Ahsoka could hear how weak her voice sounded. It had been too long since she had last seen Rex. Her mind kept wandering back to that day. She shouldn't have left him. She should have stayed. Every time she left, she lost the people who mattered most to her. It was like she was abandoning everyone she cared about.

Rex, Anakin, Obi Wan, the 501st, the Order, she had abandoned them all more than once and she had lost them all. But this time there was no going back. The Jedi Order was past, Anakin and Obi Wan were dead, only Rex was left. At least, that's what she hoped. She couldn't possibly admit to herself that the last person who represented a connection to her former life had just disappeared like that.

Again and again she thought about flying to him to make sure he was okay. But she could not risk putting him in danger. No matter if someone followed her or if they clashed with the Empire on the ground, she could not let him die because of her. And he would if they were seen together.

"Please contact me. Please. Please. Please."

The connection had been broken for a long time, so she spoke only to herself. He would get back to her tomorrow. She clung to that thought as tightly as she could. Yes, he most certainly would.

_“…” “Still nothing.”_

He didn't even have to say anything anymore. It had been 14 years, and yet Rex asked the same question every day. There was a time when the uncertainty had made him angry, but not anymore. Where anger used to be there was now a great emptiness now. He had grown accustomed to taking no for an answer. When you expected nothing, you couldn't be disappointed, but hopelessness hurt just as much and Rex couldn't tell which pain was worse.

For a time he thought it would be the best to accept that she was dead. If it were true, he wouldn't have to worry every day about the unknown. And if it were false, he would be even more relieved should she come to him after all. But he was so wrong. Day after day he had reproached himself for declaring her dead just like that. How could he ever look her in the eye and tell her that he had simply given up on her? He couldn't do that to her and he couldn't do that to himself.

So every day he lived with the pain of hope that would probably never be fulfilled. And with each passing day, that hope dwindled bit by bit. He could never bring himself to fully acknowledge her death, but he knew that he would probably never hear her voice again, never see her face again, and never touch her body again.

Despite the daily disappointment, a part of him whispered to him, as it had every day for the past 14 years: maybe tomorrow.

_"I hope you're still alive."_

Ahsoka tried to suppress the tremor in her voice. But it didn't help and she felt her voice break on the last word. Hot tears ran down her cheeks and clouded her vision.

All these years she had convinced herself that there must have been a reasonable reason why he didn't answer. Had convinced herself that he must still be alive, but now she was no longer sure. The horrible truth she had recently learned made her doubt his safety.

The feeling of Anakin's presence in the Force surrounded by icy coldness, which held him captive and had completely taken possession of him, wouldn’t let go of her. She did not want to believe it, but it had to be true. Anakin was Vader, and once she admitted that to herself, all her hopes that her old friends were still alive were dashed.

She knew how obsessed Anakin could be, and if he really had turned to the Dark Side, he certainly wouldn't let up in pursuit of his goals. If he knew Rex was still alive and that he had helped her escape, that he had disobeyed the Order 66 and sided with the Jedi, Vader would kill him without hesitation.

The only thing that gave her a little hope was that her old master had thought her dead, and hopefully the same was true for Rex. He certainly wouldn't have wasted time looking for a single clone who was presumed dead. But if Vader had even the slightest suspicion that one of them might still be alive and rebelling against him and the Empire, it would have been a sure death sentence.

But if Vader had really found Rex and learned that his inhibitor chip had been removed, he would have expected Ahsoka to still be alive. Yes, that's how it had to be. So Vader couldn't have known about Rex. Normally this should be good news, but even without the danger from Vader, there were a thousand other things that could have killed Rex. But she didn't want to think about that. Kanan, Ezra and the others would surely find him soon and then they would meet again.

But a small voice in her head whispered: Maybe tomorrow…but maybe never.


End file.
